What makes some people more resilient better able to deal with life's setbacks and difficulties than others? What makes a person unable to see another way out of a bad situation besides ending their life?
The answer to those questions lies in the fact that most people who die by suicide have depression. Depression leads people to focus mostly on failures and disappointments, to emphasize the negative side of their situations, and to downplay their own capabilities or worth. Someone with severe depression can't see the possibility of a good outcome and may believe they will never be happy or things will never go right for them again.
Depression affects a person's thoughts in such a way that the person doesn't see when a problem can be overcome. It's as if the depression puts a filter on the person's thinking that distorts things. That's why depressed people don't realize that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem in the same way that other people do. A teen with depression may feel like there's no other way out of problems, no other escape from emotional pain, or no other way to communicate a desperate unhappiness.
Sometimes people who feel suicidal may not even realize they are depressed. They're unaware that it is the depression — not the situation — that's influencing them to see things in a "there's no way out," "it will never get better," "there's nothing I can do" kind of way.
When depression lifts because someone gets the proper therapy or treatment, the distorted thinking is cleared. The person can find pleasure, energy, and hope again. But while someone is seriously depressed, suicidal thinking is a real concern. People with a condition called bipolar disorder are also more at risk for suicide because their condition can cause them to go through times when they are extremely depressed as well as times when they have abnormally high or frantic energy called mania or manic.
Both of these extreme phases of bipolar disorder affect and distort a person's mood, outlook, and judgment. For people with this condition, it can be a challenge to keep problems in perspective and act with good judgment. Teens with alcohol and drug problems are also more at risk for suicidal thinking and behavior.
Alcohol and some drugs have depressive effects on the brain. Misuse of these substances can bring on serious depression. That's especially true for some teens who already have a tendency to depression because of their biology, family history, or other life stressors. The problem can be made worse because many people who are depressed turn to alcohol or drugs as an escape. But they may not realize that the depressive effects alcohol and drugs have on the brain can actually intensify depression in the long run.
Besides their depressive effects, alcohol and drugs affect a person's judgment. They interfere with the ability to assess risk, make good choices, and think of solutions to problems.
Many suicide attempts happen when someone is under the influence of alcohol or drugs. This doesn't mean that everyone who is depressed or who has an alcohol or drug problem will try to kill themselves, of course. But these conditions — especially both together — increase a person's risk for suicide.
Sometimes a depressed person plans a suicide in advance. Many times, though, suicide attempts happen impulsively, in a moment of feeling desperately upset. A situation like a breakup, a big fight with a parent, an unintended pregnancy, being outed by someone else, or being victimized in any way can cause someone to feel desperately upset. Often, a situation like this, on top of an existing depression, acts like the final straw.
Some people who attempt suicide mean to die and some aren't completely sure they want to die. For some, a suicide attempt is a way to express deep emotional pain. They can't say how they feel, so, for them, attempting suicide feels like the only way to get their message across. Other mental illnesses that can increase the risk of suicide include:. A person who has had a traumatic experience, including childhood sexual abuse , rape, physical abuse, or war trauma, is at a greater risk for suicide, even many years after the trauma.
In a survey of nearly 6, U. Being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder PSTD or multiple incidents of trauma raises the risk even further. This is partly because depression is common after trauma and among those with PTSD, causing feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that can lead to suicide. Drugs and alcohol can also influence a person who is feeling suicidal, making them more impulsive and likely to act upon their urges than they would be while sober.
Substance and alcohol use can contribute to other reasons people commit suicide, such as the loss of jobs and relationships. The rates of substance use and alcohol use disorder are also higher among people with depression and other psychological disorders. Put these together and the risks increase. A person may decide to take their own life when facing a loss or the fear of a loss. These situations can include:. Hopelessness, either in the short-term or as a longer-lasting trait, has been found in many studies to contribute to the decision to commit suicide.
The person may be facing a social or physical challenge and may see no way the situation can improve. When people feel they have lost all hope and don't feel able to change that, it can overshadow all of the good things in their life, making suicide seem like a viable option.
While it might seem obvious to an outside observer that things will get better, people with depression may not be able to see this due to the pessimism and despair that go along with this illness.
If a person has chronic pain or illness with no hope of a cure or reprieve from suffering, suicide may seem like a way to regain dignity and control of their life. In some states, assisted suicide is legal for this very reason. Chronic pain can also bring on anxiety and depression , which can also increase your risk of suicide. According to research, people with chronic pain are four times more likely to have depression or anxiety than those who are pain-free. A person with chronic pain or a terminal illness can also feel like a burden to others, as it becomes harder and harder to ask for yet another ride to the doctor's office or more help with household duties or assistance paying for hospital bills.
In fact, many people who decide to commit suicide often state that their loved ones or the world, in general, would be better off without them. This type of rhetoric is a common warning sign of suicide.
People often see themselves as a burden to others or feel worthless due to the overwhelming emotional burden they are carrying within. A person can become socially isolated for many reasons, including losing friends or a spouse, undergoing a separation or divorce, physical or mental illness, social anxiety, retirement, or due to a move to a new location. Social isolation can also be caused by internal factors such as low self-esteem. This can lead to loneliness and other risk factors of suicide such as depression and alcohol or drug misuse.
Sometimes people attempt suicide not so much because they really want to die, but because they simply don't know how to get help. Suicide attempts are not a cry for attention but a cry for help.
It becomes a way to demonstrate to the world just how much they are hurting. Unfortunately, these cries for help may sometimes prove to be fatal if the person misjudges the lethality of their chosen method. People who make a failed attempt are also at a much higher risk of trying again, and their second attempts are much more likely to be lethal.
The despair and hopelessness I felt were so tortuous I can't even imagine what Steve was going through in his final days. A few weeks before he died, Steve told me he was so afraid. He could not or would not share with me what he was afraid of. Only now do I realize how much he must have been suffering. I believe there are two possible reasons why some say suicide is a selfish act. The first may be an attempt to comfort the suicide loss survivor s in an effort to help shift the guilt burden blame to the one who died.
Being a suicide loss survivor gives one much more perspective—I hope to use this perspective to educate others. Hearing these words today was a good thing as it has strengthened my resolve to continue to inspire conversation about mental illness and suicide with the hopes of dispelling myths like "Suicide is selfish.
When Steve, my soul mate of 33 years, took his own life on March 15, , my world changed dramatically, and my life was turned upside down. Share your story , message, poem, quote, photo or video of hope, struggle or recovery. Note: This personal story was prepared by its author in his or her personal capacity. The opinions expressed are the author's own and do not reflect the views of the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
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